Think again.

So just moments ago, I was on my way home from a late night movie with my friend, and I was walking behind some middle aged dude who was really gross (I’ll get to what he did later!) which got me thinking about 1 thing about fat people.

Most people actually think of fat people as gross and shit, but seriously you WILL think again after hearing what the middle aged guy did.

Turns out he lives in my neighborhood, and he looks like an average dude with a nice family and a stable job ya know? Glasses, kinda weathered looking, not too slim, but not too fat either, really your average 40-year old joe. But what made him REALLY extraordinary was that I saw him reach into his underwear (sadly it was so clear I could recall it was a grey) scratching his ass NON-STOP whilst walking during that 3 minute walk back. DUDE!!! Can’t that itch wait?!

When I thought it was already gross enough that he’s putting his hands into his pants in PUBLIC, he then took his hand out, and dug his nose. HOLY MOTHER OF F**K. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself cos it kinda reminded me of I.R Baboon from the Cow and Chicken show where I.R Baboon would randomly scratch his ass and then smell his finger. HAHHAA.

So the next time you’re thinking about labeling plus sized guys/girls as GROSS, think again, any average joe is equally capable of shit like that! haha.

 

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Special abilities of fat people (part 1)

12th Jan 2012

Like the title of this post says, I’m gonna be telling all of you about the special abilities of fat dudes like me have.

It all started this morning. I was headed out for work, and when the lift finally arrived, it was empty, but terrible thing was, there was a stench. It was FOUL as hell. The lift kinda smelt like sweat mixed with old saliva and hair that hasn’t been washed in weeks or even months! Some bum must have walked in and taken the lift for fun or something. Well I just held my breath thinking to myself: “its just a short lift ride. ain’t gonna kill me.” But guess what? the lift had to stop a few floors down, and some office lady walks in with her pinstripe suit and pencil skirt, and SHE STARTS STARING AT ME LIKE I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SMELLY. She was standing behind me, and she kept giving me dirty looks (I could see because the lift walls were mirrored! WHAT THE HELL?! Fat people may look like slobs, but it doesn’t freaking mean we’re smelly or whatever. sheesh!

 

Breakfast.

9th January  2012:

So yeah this morning I got up early despite a long night of playing FIFA 12 (freaking awesome game), I got up early and headed out to get me some grub. What happened as I approached the market was rather embarrassing, but I’m pretty sure it happens to many of us, especially big guys like me.

Basically I was walking down toward the hawker center, and i saw this beautiful lady in a nice black office dress smiling at me and walking toward me. I was stunned shitless, and smiled back, but what was really embarrassing was that she wasn’t smiling at me!! Turns out she saw some friend or colleague of hers drive his BMW 6 series in. Damn I should’ve known there’s no way a hot lady like that would wanna have anything to do with Bobby Ang the Fat friend!! Oh wells. life’s like that!! Now that I think about it, it was kinda funny. hahahha.

“Hello world!” from your dearest fat friend.

Hello world!! Welcome to the Memoirs of a Fat Friend. like the title reads, I’m going to share with you some of my best, and worst moments as a fat guy. Some of these things may be exclusive to just fat people in general, but who really cares? I have every damn right to share my experiences with people who are willing to listen. Anyways here goes my introductory post!

8th January 2012:

My name is Bobby Ang, and I live on the sunny (or currently rainy) island of Singapore. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d rate myself somewhere between 4 to 5.5. I’m an average guy, currently doing my degree, and I’m happy where I am.

Nope, I’m not good looking, nor am I anywhere near hunky like those A&F dudes that stand outside all day and promote the objectification of men. I stand at a height of 5 feet and 11 inches, and weigh in¬† at 115.4 kilograms (plus minus 1 kg).

In Singapore, I’m a 1 in 10 kinda guy, and since it’s a new year, I decided to start this year by sharing with everyone, what its like to be me!

What really got me started on blogging was a small incident earlier today when I was taking bus 33 down to Tiong Bahru Plaza, and due to my size, I ended up taking up the whole seat (originally meant for 2 people) and some auntie gave me a dirty look and even went “TSK.” Of course, I was a little annoyed by her gesture, but still I offered up my seat to her but she refused because the bus was crowded, and she probably thought I was a lazy bastard or something. Yeah well screw her and her saggy ass. Thank goodness I got off the bus pretty soon and went my own way.