12th Jan 2012
Like the title of this post says, I’m gonna be telling all of you about the special abilities of fat dudes like me have.
It all started this morning. I was headed out for work, and when the lift finally arrived, it was empty, but terrible thing was, there was a stench. It was FOUL as hell. The lift kinda smelt like sweat mixed with old saliva and hair that hasn’t been washed in weeks or even months! Some bum must have walked in and taken the lift for fun or something. Well I just held my breath thinking to myself: “its just a short lift ride. ain’t gonna kill me.” But guess what? the lift had to stop a few floors down, and some office lady walks in with her pinstripe suit and pencil skirt, and SHE STARTS STARING AT ME LIKE I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS SMELLY. She was standing behind me, and she kept giving me dirty looks (I could see because the lift walls were mirrored! WHAT THE HELL?! Fat people may look like slobs, but it doesn’t freaking mean we’re smelly or whatever. sheesh!